Wednesday, September 2, 2015

My Malady (2015)

Oh, I never forget to cast these staring eyes
At the empty glowing faces in the middle of the night
I keep my fingers pressed tight against the glass
Half past the mid-morning mass, I’m hearing hymns
Echoing through my ringing head like Jesus boxed my ears

Years and years of this same shit, excited and repeated
Never learning any better than to keep everything out of reach
Too safe to say that I’m taking life by its balls
But something’s twisted them enough that I feel that pain after all
Nut over nut, contorted, doubled up and fucked

I never forget a face to keep me in my place
When I let my loose tongue walk at its own pace
She shuts me up with a mouth full of cement
I can’t feel my heart beat, I start to sweat
There’s a primal rhythm in my head, fight fucking flight
So I can lay eyes one more time and commit this crime to mind

I’m so afraid of life, too eager and too young to die
I crawl away from the moment when my ego hits the sky
My life is an infinite wasteland, legs spread wide in the concept of time
Like some fickle fuck math equation with letters in parenthesis
Names of people and fucking places, all interchangeable while I’m at center stage
Waiting for this goddamn curtail to call, fall and cut my face

Too absorbed in hiding behind the safety of lines
Best rehearsed and regurgitated, played out and placated
Keep her here, out of the real world so I can feel something fake
Still more real than anything I’ve wasted time imagining and
Lining up adjectives to describe, like words really matter anymore
Always these bold perceptions, winning every stupid fucking moment
Pulling it from the cold, dead hands of some tangible place some other asshole built

Monday, August 31, 2015

Brimstone & Heavy Sleep (2015)

She licked her loose lips and softly draped herself in a life I’ve never known
A hollow sadness stuck at the back of her throat, wild and overgrown

She takes a drink and tastes the loneliness, then brings a heavy head to my chest
I know she only wants something warm, so who am I to protest?

I feel the swell of my ego when she squeezes my arm and though I’m just a prop
She knows that I’m her reflection and she doesn’t want to feel alone

She tells me about the footsteps that walk around her bed, stalking her every night
So she sleeps in different rooms, an act of defiance by hiding in plain sight

Eventually they’ll find her, she says, but the longer she moves from the shadows
Then the longer she can pretend that she still belongs in the light

I push my arm under her and hold her until she begins to sleep and snore softly
And I stay awake, never moving, though the splinters wash over my body

She radiates some foreign form of warmth with each breath, and somehow pulls me closer
I’ll let the shadows steal me away in an hour, just one more hour of pretending I belong

The television glows and the people talk about the passing times, writing napkin rhymes
And I smell the desperation on my breath, dragging myself further into this rabbit hole

I know better, I’ve always known better, and until I’m somewhere in ruin I’ll never learn
Her hands flutter on my chest and I’m quick to kiss them and put them back to rest

But the time is coming soon, my eyes will close and this night will escape us
I pull the covers over my head and pray that one of can at least die a little happier

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Pale Remains (2015)

Just when we thought the iris of our minds aligned
I burned a hole in your thigh and pulled the bandage tight

Sliding insides from side to side, shuffles around the night
Something in the way the candlelight dances in your eyes

I fell down the darkened stairs trying to find the door to your room
A golden knob clouded by the shadows and overshadowed by the gloom

Just when I thought it was you and I, I felt a crack run through the sky
Spilling out all of the nerves and words that I couldn’t cast aside

You kept your mouth close to mine when you looked me in the eye
And asked if I felt what you felt inside, it was all I could do to lie

Somewhere deep in this puddle of disdain, I felt the glass spill over
When I heard you call out my name in a fashion completely mundane

Breathless in a whisper, I felt you exhale all you could contain
Here I am wide wonder, from the incurably simple to the incredibly inane

I will always topple over, spread to shards and blow away
Catch me in your empty covers before I slice your fingers and forget why I stay

You remember that bad taste in the back of your mouth, darling?
Then you’re sure to commit my name to that list of bad mistakes

I’ll see myself to the door in the morning, but tonight I’m gonna stay
My back is warped from the weight of a wicked tongue, but tomorrow’s another day